Posts by pale recluse

9

You're Going To Hell...

by pale recluse in

jw
friends

...if you don't change your evil ways, baby.

the fear of the lord prolongeth days:.

but the years of the wicked shall be shortened..

pale recluse

...if you don't change your evil ways, baby. The fear of the LORD prolongeth days:
but the years of the wicked shall be shortened. Proverbs 10:27

Average Age at Death of Included Rock Stars (1)	36.9 Years
Average Age at Death of Americans (2)	75.8 Years

(1) Computed from the included list.

NOTE: This is EVERY death of a Rock star we've found. This is NOT a "RIGGED" list to produce FALSE numbers, but an HONEST observation.

(2) From "The World Almanac and Book of Facts", 1997, p.973

SUMMARY OF CAUSES OF DEATH
Heart Attack	42	Drug Overdose	40
Misc. Medical	37	Suicide	36
Auto/Cycle Crash	35	Cancer	25
Airplane Crash	22	Unknown	21
Murdered	18	Alcohol	9
Accident	6	Drowned	5
Brain Tumor	4	AIDS	4
Poisoned	3	Leukemia	3
Electrocuted	3	Stroke	3
Fire	3	Choked	2
Total Deaths		321

Premature Death of Rock Stars

FIRST NAME	LAST NAME	BAND	DATE (YY/MM/DD)	AGE	CAUSE
Johnny	Ace		54-12-24	25	Suicide
Nick	Acland	Lush	96-10-17	30	Suicide
Carl	Albert	Vicious Rumours	95-04-23		Car accident
Thomas	Allen	War	88-08-30
GG	Allin		93-06-28	36	Drug overdose
Luther	Allison		97-08-12	58	Brain tumor
Duane	Allman	Allman Brothers Band	71-10-29	24	Motorcycle accident
Matthew	Ashman	Bow Wow Wow	95-11-21	35	Diabetes
Chet	Baker		88-05-13	58	Fell out window
Florence	Ballard	Supremes	76-02-22	32	Medical
Ray	Barbieri(Raybeez)	Warzone	97-08-11		Pneumonia
Carlton	Barrett	Wailers	87-04-17	37	Murdered
Stiv	Bators	Dead Boys	90-06-03	40	Hit by a Car
Paul	Beaver	Beaver and Krause	75-01-16	50	Heart attack
Chris	Bell	Big Star	78-12-27	27	Car accident
Jesse	Belvin	Jesse & Marvin	60-02-06	26	Car Accident
Duster	Bennett		76-03-26	29	Car accident
Bert	Berns	(producer)	67-12-30	38	Heart attack
Alan	Blakley	Tremeloes	95-..-..
Bobby	Bloom		74-02-28	28	Suicide
Mike	Bloomfield		81-02-15	37	Drug overdose
Marc	Bolan	T-Rex	77-09-16	30	Car accident
Tommy	Bolin	Deep Purple	76-12-04	25	Drug overdose
Graham	Bond		74-05-08	36	Suicide
Ronnie	Bond	Troggs	92-12-..	49
John	Bonham	Led Zeppelin	80-09-25	32	Alcohol overdose
Dennes	Boon	Minutemen	85-12-22	27	Car Accident
David	Box	Crickets	64-10-23	21	Airplane Crash
Lee	Brilleaux	Dr. Feelgood	95-04-07	41	Medical
Jo (Jonas)	Bruce	Afro Celt Sound System	97-10-08	28	Asthma
Roy	Buchanan		88-08-14	48	Suicide
Jeff	Buckley		97-05-29	30	Drowned
Tim	Buckley		75-06-29	28	Drug overdose
Johnny	Burnette		64-..-..	30	Drowned
Cliff	Burton	Metallica	87-09-27	25	Traffic accident
Paul	Butterfield	Butterfield Blues Band	87-05-04	44	Medical
Glenn	Buxton	Alice Cooper	97-10-19	49	Pneumonia
David	Byron	Uriah Heep	85-02-28	38	Heart attack
Ronnie	Caldwell	Bar-Kays	67-12-10	19	Airplane crash
Tommy	Caldwell	Marshall Tucker Band	80-04-28	30	Car accident
Randy	California	Spirit	97-01-02	45	Drowned
Robert	Calvert	Hawkwind	88-08-14	42	Heart attack
John	Campbell		93-06-..	41	Heart attack
Karen	Carpenter	Carpenters	83-02-04	33	Anorexia
Eric	Carr	Kiss	91-11-24	41	Cancer
Chas	Chandler	Animals	96-07-17	58	Heart attack
Harry	Chapin		81-07-16	38	Car accident
Bill	Chase	Chase	74-08-12	39	Airplane crash
Miss	Christine	GTO's	72-11-05		Drug overdose
John	Cipollina	Quicksilver Messenger Service	89-05-29	45	Medical
Gene	Clark	Byrds	91-05-24	49	Heart attack
Steve	Clark	Def Leppard	91-01-08	30	Alcohol
Walter	Clark	Chase	74-08-12	25	Airplane crash
Michael	Clarke	Byrds	93-12-02	50	Medical
Kurt	Cobain	Nirvana	94-04-05	27	Suicide
Eddie	Cochran		60-04-17	21	Car accident
Brian	Cole	Association	72-08-02	28	Drug overdose
Nat 'King'	Cole		65-02-15	48	Cancer
Allen	Collins	Lynyrd Skynyrd	90-01-23	37	Pneumonia
Rob	Collins	Charlatans	96-07-23	32	Car accident
Brian	Connolly	Sweet	97-02-09	52	Heart attack
Sam	Cooke		64-12-11	33	Murdered
Vincent	Crane	Atomic Rooster	89-02-01	44	Suicide
Darby	Crash	Germs	80-12-07	22	Suicide
Jim	Croce		73-09-20	30	Airplane crash
Carl	Cunningham	Bar-Kays	67-12-10	18	Airplane crash
Ian	Curtis	Joy Division	80-05-18	23	Suicide
King	Curtis		71-08-13	37	Murdered
	Dalida		87-05-03	53	Suicide
Bobby	Darin		73-12-20	37	Heart attack
Cyril	Davies	Blues Incorporated	64-01-07	31	Leukemia
Pete	De Freitas	Echo & the Bunnymen	89-06-14		Motorcycle accident
Louise	Dean	Shiva	95-07-08	24	Car accident
Zenon	DeFleur	Count Bishops	79-03-17	28	Car accident
Sandy	Denny	Fairport Convention	78-04-21	31	Fall
John	Denver		97-10-12	53	Airplane crash
$nbsp;	Dimwit	DOA	94-08-27		Drug Overdose
Nicholas	Dingley	Hanoi Rocks	84-12-08	24	Car accident
Tom	Donahue		75-04-28	46	Heart attack
Nick	Drake		74-11-25	26	Suicide
Tony	Duhig	Jade Warrior	91-01-..		Heart attack
Bernard	Edwards	Chic	96-04-..	43
Cass	Elliot	Mamas and Papas	74-07-29	32	Choked
John	Emma	Chase	74-08-12	22	Airplane crash
Tom	Evans	Badfinger	83-11-18	36	Suicide
(Hans Holzl)	Falco		98-02-06	40	Car accident
Pete	Farndon	Pretenders	83-04-14	30	Drug overdose
Jimmy	Fernandez	God Machine	94-05-12	29	Medical
Matthew	Fletcher	Heavenly	96-06-14	26	Suicide
Tom	Fogerty	Creedence Clearwater Revival	90-09-22	49	Heart attack
Rhett	Forrester	Riot	94-01-22	37	Murdered
Melvin	Franklin	Temptations	95-02-23	52	Medical
Bobby	Fuller	Bobby Fuller 4	66-07-18	22	Murdered
Billy	Fury		83-01-28	41	Heart attack
Cassie	Gaines	Lynyrd Skynyrd	77-10-20		Airplane crash
Steven	Gaines	Lynyrd Skynyrd	77-10-20	28	Airplane crash
Rory	Gallagher		95-06-14	47	Alcohol
Eric	Gale	Stuff	94-05-25	55
Rick	Garberson	Bizarros	79-07-15		Poisoning
Jerry	Garcia	Grateful Dead	95-08-09	53	Heart attack
Danny	Gatton	(session musician)	94-10-04	49	Suicide
Marvin	Gaye		84-04-01	45	Murdered
Lowell	George	Little Feet	79-06-29	34	Heart attack
Andy	Gibb		88-03-10	30	Medical
Ray	Gillen	Black Sabbath, Badlands	93-12-01	33	Cancer
Steve	Gilpin	MI-sex	92-11-25	41	Car accident
John	Glascock	Jethro Tull	79-11-17	28	Medical
Keith	Godchaux	Grateful Dead	80-07-23	32	Car accident
Dwayne	Goettel	Skinny Puppy	95-08-23	31	Drug overdose
Steve	Goodman		84-09-20	36	Leukemia
Bill	Graham	(concert promotor)	91-11-25	60	Helicopter crash
Ric	Grech	Family, Blind Faith	90-03-17	44	Drug overdose
Albert	Grossman		86-01-25	59	Heart attack
Cornell	Gunter	Coasters	90-02-26	53
Woody	Guthrie		67-10-03	55	Medical
Paul	Hackman	Helix	92-07-05	39	Car accident (tour bus)
Bill	Haley		81-02-09	56	Alcohol
Ollie	Hallsall	Patto, Timebox, Boxer	93-..-..	43	Heart attack
Pete	Ham	Badfinger	75-04-23	28	Suicide
Roy	Hamilton		69-07-20	40	Heart Attack
Tim	Hardin		80-12-29	39	Drug overdose
Slim	Harpo		70-01-31	43	Heart Attack
Alex	Harvey	Sensational Alex Harvey Band	82-02-04	46	Heart attack
Les	Harvey	Stone The Crows	72-05-03	27	Electrocuted
Donny	Hathway		79-01-13	33	Suicide
Ted	Hawkins		95-01-01	58	Heart attack
Sean	Hayes		95-07-12	49	Aids
Eddie	Hazel	Parliament, Funkadelic	93-02-..	42	Medical
	Helno	Les Negresses Vertes	93-01-21	29	Drug overdose
Jimi	Hendrix		70-09-18	27	Drug overdose
Jay	Hening	Demolition 23	97-04-18	23	Suicide
Gregory	Herbert	Blood, Sweat & Tears	78-..-..	28	Drug overdose
Eddie	Hinton		95-07-28	51
Bob	Hite	Canned Heat	81-04-05	36	Heart attack
Eldon	Hoke (El Duce)	the Mentors	97-04-19	38	Hit by Train
Buddy	Holly		59-02-03	22	Airplane crash
James	Honeyman-Scott	Pretenders	82-06-16	25	Drug overdose
Shannon	Hoon	Blind Melon	95-10-21	28	Drug overdose
Douglas	Hopkins	Gin Blossoms	93-12-05	32
Nicky	Hopkins	(session musician)	94-09-06	50	Medical
Keith	Hudson		84-11-14	38	Cancer
Glenn	Hughes	Village People	2001-03-04	51	Cancer
Alan	Hull	Lindisfarne	95-11-19	50
Michael	Hutchence	INXS	97-11-22	37	Suicide
Phyllis	Hyman		95-07-03	44	Suicide
O'Kelly	Isley	Isley Brothers	86-03-31	48	Heart attack
Al	Jackson	Booker T. and the MGs	75-10-01	39	Murdered
Paul Avron	Jeffreys	Cockney Rebel	88-12-21	36	Airplane crash
Ken	Jensen	D.O.A.	95-01-29		Fire
Little Willie	John		68-05-27	30	Pneumonia(in prison)
Robert	Johnson		38-08-16	27	Poisoned
Billy	Jones	Outlaws	95-02-..	45	Suicide
Brian	Jones	Rolling Stones	69-07-03	27	Drowned
Phalin	Jones	Bar-Kays	67-12-10	18	Airplane crash
Janis	Joplin		70-10-04	27	Drug overdose
Wong	Ka Kui	Beyond	93-06-30	31	Accident
Terry	Kath	Chicago	78-01-23	32	Gun accident
Tim	Kelly	Slaughter	98-02-05	34	Car accident
Wells	Kelly	Orleans, Meat Loaf	84-10-29	35	Choked
Eddie	Kendricks	Temptations	92-09-..	52	Cancer
Frankie	Kennedy	Altan	94-10-14	38	Cancer
Johnny	Kidd		66-11-07	27	Car accident
Freddie	King		76-12-28	43	Heart attack
Jimmy	King	Bar-Kays	67-12-10	18	Airplane crash
Phil	King	Blue Oyster Cult	72-04-27
Sam	Kinison		92-04-10	38	Car accident
Helmut	Koellen	Triumvirat	77-05-03	27	Poisoning (accidential)
Alexis	Korner	Blues Incorporated	84-01-01	56	Cancer
Paul	Kossoff	Free	76-03-19	26	Heart Attack
Fela	Kuti		97-08-02	58	Aids
Randy	Laire	Heathen	92-01-..		Car accident
Martin	Lamble	Fairport Convention	69-06-01	19	Car accident
Ronnie 'Plonk'	Lane	Small Faces	97-06-04	51	Multiple Sclerosis
Nicolette	Larson		97-12-16	45	Medical
Peter	Laughner	Pere Ubu	77-06-22	24	Medical
John	Lennon	Beatles	80-12-08	40	Murdered
Philip	Lithman	Snakefinger	87-07-..	38	Heart attack
Trevor	Lucas	Fairport Convention	89-02-04	45	Heart attack
Frankie	Lymon	The Teenagers	68-02-28	25	Drug overdose
Phil	Lynott	Thin Lizzy	86-01-04	35	Drug Abuse
Billy	MacKenzie	Associates	97-01-23	39	Suicide
David	Mankaba	Bhundu Boys	91-10-..		Aids
Geoff	Mann	Twelfth Night	93-03-..		Cancer
Richard	Manual	The Band	86-03-04	42	Suicide
Bob	Marley		81-05-11	36	Cancer
Steve	Marriott	Small Faces, Humble Pie	90-04-20	43	Fire
Van	McCoy		79-07-06	38	Heart attack
Jimmy	McCulloch	Wings	79-09-27	27	Heart attack
Sean	McDonnell	Surgery	95-01-18	29	Medical
Robbie	McIntosh	Average White Band	74-09-23	23	Drug overdose
Ron 'Pigpen'	McKernan	Grateful Dead	73-03-08	27	Alcohol
Harold	McNair	Ginger Baker's Airforce	71-03-26		Cancer
Clyde	McPhatter	Drifters	72-16-13	38	Medical
Don	McPherson	Main Ingredient	71-04-04	39	Leukemia
Joe	Meek	(producer)	67-02-03	38	Suicide
Harold	Melvin	Harold Melvin & the Bluenotes	97-03-24	57
Jonathan	Melvoin	Smashing Pumpkins	96-07-11	34	Drug overdose
Freddie	Mercury	Queen	91-11-24	45	Aids
Jacob	Miller	Inner Circle	80-02-21	23
Jimmy	Miller	(producer)	94-10-22	52	Medical
Country' Dick	Montana	Beat Farmers	95-11-..	40	Heart attack
Keith	Moon	Who	78-09-07	32	Drug overdose
Jim	Morrison	Doors	71-07-03	27	Heart attack
Sterling	Morrison	Velvet Underground	95-08-30	53	Cancer
Bill	Murcia	New York Dolls	72-11-06	21	Drug overdose
Dee	Murray	Elton John	92-02-..	45	Stroke
Brent	Mydland	Grateful Dead	90-07-01	38	Drug overdose
Don	Myrick	Earth, Wind & Fire	93-07-30	53	Murdered
Rick	Nelson		85-12-31	45	Airplane crash
(Christa Paffgen)	Nico	Velvet Underground	88-07-18	44	Cerebral Hemorrhage
Harry	Nilsson		94-01-15	52	Heart attack
Jerry	Nolan	New York Dolls, Heartbreakers	92-02-..	45	Stroke
Yogi	Norton	Luther Vandross	87-06-..		Suicide
	Notorious BIG		97-03-09	24	Murdered
Bradley	Nowell	Sublime	96-05-25	28	Drug overdose
	Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan		97-08-16	48	Heart attack
Laura	Nyro		97-04-08	49	Cancer
Berry	Oakley	Allman Brothers Band	72-11-10	24	Motorcycle accident
Phil	Ochs		76-04-07	35	Suicide
Frank	O'Keefe	Outlaws	95-02-..
Criss	Oliva	Savatage	93-10-17		Car accident
Roy	Orbison		88-12-07	52	Heart attack
Malcolm	Owen	Ruts	80-07-14	24	Drug overdose
John	Panozzo	Styx	96-07-16	47	Alcohol
Felix	Pappalardi	Mountain	83-04-17	43	Murdered
Junior	Parker		71-11-18	44	Brain Tumor
Gram	Parsons	Byrds	73-09-19	26	Drug Overdose
John 'Jaco'	Pastorius	Weather Report	87-09-21	35	Murdered
Mike	Patto	Patto, Spooky Tooth	79-03-04	36	Medical
Lawrence	Payton	Four Tops	97-05-..	59	Cancer
Tracy	Pew	Birthday Party	86-11-..	28	Medical
Kristen	Pfaff	Hole	94-06-16	24	Drug overdose
Esther	Phillips		84-08-07	48
John	Phillips	Mammas and Papas	2001-04-18	65	Heart Failure
Kenny	Pickett	Creation	97-01-07	49	Heart attack
Jeffrey Lee	Pierce	Gun Club	96-03-31	37	Stroke
Robert	Pilatus	Milli Vanilli	98-04-02	32	Medical
Jeff	Porcaro	Toto	92-08-05	38	Heart attack
William	Powel	O'Jays	77-05-26		Cancer
Cozy	Powell	Rainbow, Whitesnake, etc.	98-04-05	50	Car accident
Elvis	Presley		77-08-16	42	Drug Overdose
Rainer	Ptacek	Rainer & Das Combo	97-11-12	43	Cancer
Carl	Radle	Derek and the Dominos	80-05-30	38	Medical
Bobby	Ramirez	Edgar Winter's White Trash	72-07-24	23	Murdered
Joey	Ramone	Ramones	2001-04-15	49	Cancer
Otis	Redding		67-12-10	26	Airplane crash
Keith	Relf	Yardbirds, Renaissance	76-05-14	33	Electrocuted
Randy	Rhoades	Quiet Riot, Ozzy Osbourne	82-03-20	26	Airplane crash
J.P.	Richardson	(The Big Bopper)	59-02-03	24	Airplane crash
Minnie	Ripperton		79-07-12	30	Cancer
Mick	Ronson	David Bowie	93-04-30	47	Cancer
John	Rostill	Shadows	73-11-01	31	Electrocuted
Dave	Rowbotham	Durutti Column	92-01-..	34	Accident
David	Ruffin	Temptations	91-06-01	50	Drug overdose
Paul	Ryan	Paul & Berry Ryan	92-12-..	44
Stefanie	Sargent	7 Year Bitch	92-06-27	24	Drug overdose
David	Savoy Jr.	Husker Du	87-02-..	25	Suicide
Ingo	Schwichtenberg	Helloween	95-03-08	29	Suicide
Bon	Scott	AC/DC	80-02-19	33	Alcohol
	Selena		95-03-31	23	Murdered
Tupac	Shakur		96-09-13	25	Murdered
Del	Shannon		90-02-08	51	Suicide
Will	Shatter	Flipper	87-12-09	31	Drug Overdose
James	Sheppard	Shep & the Limelights	70-01-24	24	Murdered
Guitar	Slim		59-02-07	32	Pneumonia
Hillel	Slovak	Red Hot Chili Peppers	88-06-??	25	Drug Overdose
Fred 'Sonic'	Smith	MC5	94-11-05	45	Heart attack
Ray	Smith	Heads Hands & Feet	79-11-29	45
Epic	Soundtracks	Swell Maps	97-11-22	38
Otis	Span		70-04-25	40
Vivian	Stanshall	Bonzo Dog Band	95-03-05	51	Fire
Ian	Steward	Rolling Stones	85-12-12	47	Heart attack
Billy	Stewart		70-01-17		Car Accident
Bob	Stinson	Replacements	95-02-20	35	Drug overdose
Rory	Storm	Rory Storm and the Hurricanes	72-09-27	32	Suicide
Lynn	Strait	Snot	98-12-11	30	Car Accident
Stu	Sutcliff	Beatles	62-04-10	21	Medical
Vinnie	Taylor	Sha Na Na	74-04-17	25	Drug overdose
Tommy	Tedesco	(session musician)	97-10-11	53
Biggie	Tempo	Bhundu Boys	95-08-13	37	Suicide
Tammi	Terrell		70-03-16	24	Brain Tumor
Joe	Tex		82-08-13	49	Heart attack
Gary	Thain	Uriah Heep	76-03-19	27	Drug overdose
Jason	Thirsk	Pennywise	96-07-28	27	Suicide
Johnny	Thunders	New York Dolls	91-04-23	38	Drug overdose
Steve	Took	T-Rex	80-10-27	31	Medical
Peter	Tosh		87-09-11	42	Murdered
Nicholas	Traina	Link 80	97-08-21	19	Suicide (overdose)
Arnie	Treffers	Long Tall Ernie & the Shakers	95-08-25	48	Cancer
Tommy	Tucker	Louisiana Red	82-01-17	43
Rob	Tyner	MC5	91-09-17	46	Heart attack
Richie	Valens		59-02-03	17	Airplane crash
Dino	Valenti	Quicksilver Messenger Service	94-11-16	51
Townes	Van Zandt		97-01-01	52	Alcohol
Ronnie	Van Zant	Lynyrd Skynyrd	77-10-20	29	Airplane crash
Stevie Ray	Vaughan		90-08-27	35	Helicopter crash
Henry	Vestine	Canned Heat	97-10-20	52	Medical
Sid	Vicious	Sex Pistols	79-02-02	21	Drug overdose
Gene	Vincent		71-10-12	36	Alcohol
Jr.	Walker		95-12-..	53	Cancer
Clarence	White	Byrds	73-07-14	29	Car accident
Danny	Whitten	Crazy Horse	72-11-18	29	Drug overdose
Simon	Wilde	DOA	91-05-04		Brain Tumor
Paul	Williams	Temptations	73-08-17	34	Suicide
Tony	Williams	Tony Williams Lifetime Band	96-02-23	52	Heart attack
Wendy O.	Williams	Plasmatics	98-04-06	48	Suicide
Chuck	Willis		58-04-10	30	Car Accident
Al	Wilson	Canned Heat	70-09-03	27	Suicide
Barrie B.J.	Wilson	Procol Harum	90-10-..	43	Car accident
Carl	Wilson	Beach Boys	98-02-06	51	Cancer
Dennis	Wilson	Beach Boys	83-12-28	39	Drowned
Jackie	Wilson		84-01-12	49	Medical
Ricky	Wilson	B-52's	85-10-13	32	Cancer
Kurt	Winter	Guess Who	97-12-15	51	Liver failure
John Christian	Wolters	Dr. Hook	97-06-16	52	Cancer
Andrew	Wood	Mother Love Bone	90-03-19	24	Drug overdose
Chris	Wood	Traffic	83-07-12	39	Medical
Wallace	Yohn	Chase	74-08-12	27	Airplane crash
Mia	Zapata	Gits	93-07-07		Murdered
Frank	Zappa	Mothers of Invention	93-12-04	52	Cancer

For their rock is not as our Rock,. . .
Deuteronomy 32:31

5 Behold, God is mighty, and despiseth not any: he is mighty in strength and wisdom.
6 He preserveth not the life of the wicked:. . .
14 They DIE in youth, and their life is among the unclean.
Job 36:5,6,14

As righteousness tendeth to life: so he that pursueth evil pursueth it to his own DEATH.
Proverbs 11:19

There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of DEATH.
Proverbs 14:12

For the wages of sin is DEATH;
BUT the gift of God is eternal LIFE through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Romans 6:23

He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting LIFE:
and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life;
but the WRATH of God ABIDETH ON HIM.
John 3:36

15 See, I have set before thee this day LIFE and GOOD, and DEATH and EVIL;
16 In that I command thee this day to love the LORD thy God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commandments and his statutes and his judgments, that thou mayest live and multiply: and the LORD thy God shall bless thee in the land whither thou goest to possess it.
17 But if thine heart turn away, so that thou wilt not hear, but shalt be drawn away, and worship other gods, and serve them;
18 I denounce unto you this day, that ye shall surely perish, and that ye shall not prolong your days upon the land, whither thou passest over Jordan to go to possess it.
19 I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you LIFE and DEATH, blessing and cursing: THEREFORE CHOOSE LIFE, that both thou and thy seed may live:
Deuteronomy 30:15-19

WHAT IS YOUR CHOICE?

	I CHOOSE LIFE.
	I CHOOSE DEATH.

Edited by - pale recluse on 30 July 2002 23:20:11

Edited by - pale recluse on 31 July 2002 10:5:8

10

Lance Bass N'space (In Installments)

by pale recluse in

jw
friends

part i - the prequel .

watch this space for further installments.

netx: part ii - "stardate 10:12:02

pale recluse

Part I - The Prequel

Watch this space for further installments. Netx: Part II - "Stardate 10:12:02

30

Do you love people more now that you're out?

by writerpen in

jw
friends

i was thinking about this the other day.

since i've left the borg, i find myself loving other humans more.

like all the little children being abducted, the miners trapped in the mine last week, the victims of car accidents that i pass on the road, a woman crying in the car next to me while waiting for the green light, the homeless that i see every weekend at a local soup kitchen where i volunteer, etc.

pale recluse

I'm an equal-opportunity hater. I hate everyone equally.

1

The Pope Wants You To Turn Him On!

by pale recluse in

jw
friends

.

edited by - pale recluse on 29 july 2002 15:23:37.

pale recluse

Edited by - pale recluse on 29 July 2002 15:23:37

15

How do you when your anointed?

by haujobbz in

jw
friends

i had always been puzzled by this, how jws know there of the so called anointed class, i mean there not born anointed supposedly they know by means of holy spirit lol!!!!.

its then there word against yours, i mean we could all end up saying we were anointed then what would happen, probably you would be told off by the elders or maybe they just wouldnt believe you,and why because they might think if "more say their anointed" the end wont come in there lifetime.

guess what im starting to think im anointed!!!!!!!!

pale recluse

Cosmic fortune cookie. "CONGRATULATIONS! You're annointed!"

5

Jesus Shocked By Visit To Childhood Home

by pale recluse in

jw
friends

jesus shocked by visit to childhood home: "neighborhood has really gone to hell"

bethlehem jesus christ's return to his childhood home yesterday was reportedly "very disappointing," because of the dilapidated state of the surrounding area.

"the neighborhood has really gone to hell," shouted our lord and savior over the staccato bursts of machine guns reporting and echoing.

pale recluse

SYN asks: That was really funny RecluseType! Did you write it?

A: If I did, that would make me a... GHOSTwriter, heh. No, I didn't. Plagarists should be shot, at dawn, at fifty paces. Here's another one:

Man Hordes Free AOL Hours to Prolong Life

ARDMORE, TENN. - In early January, 57-year-old furniture store owner, Jeremy Tolsend added 40 years to his life thanks to over 35,000 promotional hours mailed to him by AOL over that month alone.

As the life-extending hours continued to accumulate, Tolsend had an epiphany:

"I wasn't doing anything with them. I'd get anywhere from 500 to 1000 hours mailed to me every other day. I finally figured, 'Why not put them to use?'"

In February, Tolsend announced plans to return to his studies in a campaign to better himself.

"I'm going to get my PHD in just about everything. It might take forty years, but it's not like I'm going anywhere," offered Tolsend in early March. "I love life. I mean, I kind of have to."

The furniture-seller-turned-scholar, who friends agree appears more youthful with every passing day, has set his sights on more language-based curriculum at first, so that his training in the sciences can be as up-to-date as possible.

According to Tolsend's twenty-year-old nephew, Kent, engineering major at MIT whose shoulder was recently dislocated by his uncle in a playful display of wrestling skills, Tolsend will need the classes.

"If there are whole new sciences, like based on say the study of wave particles at a right angle to the electro-magnetic spectrum or maybe even android repair, he'll need to be on the cutting edge just to keep up. He should also take a government admin class too, cause he'll probably have to pull a Highlander and change his name every 50 years or so."

AOL/TIME WARNER representative Alan Rothschild took the opportunity to stage a press conference where Tolsend was awarded a life-time supply of free promotional hours. Similar offers are being made to the public in exchange for the purchasing of AOL software and internet use.

"Essentially, Jeremy Tolsend is now immortal because of us," explained Rothschild. "It is clear that our firm now controls the very ebb and flow of life itself through the our free, mailed discs; it seems apparent that those who would enjoy life everlasting will have no problem paying a small monthly fee so that the paltry sum of their days can be expanded. Also, they will receive features like Instant Messenger."

AOL/TIME WARNER, which suffered a first quarter $54 billion loss, has announced second quarter profits of over $500 trillion, the largest ever in world history.

Added Rothschild, "We are confident this will inspire absolute and totalitarian brand loyalty. No one will be left out. Anywhere."

(From the archives of The National Lampoon.) - Pale Recluse

5

Jesus Shocked By Visit To Childhood Home

by pale recluse in

jw
friends

jesus shocked by visit to childhood home: "neighborhood has really gone to hell"

bethlehem jesus christ's return to his childhood home yesterday was reportedly "very disappointing," because of the dilapidated state of the surrounding area.

"the neighborhood has really gone to hell," shouted our lord and savior over the staccato bursts of machine guns reporting and echoing.

pale recluse

Jesus Shocked by Visit To Childhood Home: "Neighborhood has really gone to hell"

BETHLEHEM Jesus Christ's return to his childhood home yesterday was reportedly "very disappointing," because of the dilapidated state of the surrounding area.

"The neighborhood has really gone to hell," shouted Our Lord and Savior over the staccato bursts of machine guns reporting and echoing. "I mean I have a lot of good and bad memories of this place, but this is nothing like it used to be. It's a fricking dump."

The Lord arrived only yesterday afternoon but has already chalked up a long list of complaints about "his old stomping grounds."

"God, look at everything! It's all different!" exclaimed an obviously betrayed Christ. "Over there across the street used to be Ferrillo's Candy Shop. It didn't matter how poor the child was, Mr. Ferrillo always had a piece of gum or a sweet for you. Now it's a burned out, gutted Mk3 tank. I used to throw rocks over there where that half a head is. Oh, and over there, that mall used to be a pond. I fished in that mall. God, nothing stays the same, man."

Added Jesus, "Billy Joel was right. You can never go back."

So far the Eternal Redeemer has elected to keep his visit low profile in order not to confuse his billions of multi-denominational worshippers into believing the beginning of the rapture is approaching.

"I just wanted to get away for a while, you know. And I realized I hadn't been back home in ages," said Jesu Christo, absent-mindedly kicking a soot-covered rear-view mirror. "With this war going on and all, I figured that would be a really confusing message to my people and to the people here. Like "Do Yahweh and Allah exist if you're here?" and all that, and I just wanted to kick back and relax in the old homestead, not talk theology. Leave the work at work, you know?

Jesus' trip home was further marred by the physical changes made to his original house, a small one-room manger, now a large church built to celebrate His birth, which is also temporarily housing a band of Palestinian gunmen and civilians taking refuge on holy ground from Israeli soldiers.

"I can't even hang out at home now. There's like a bazillion PLO guys in there. It's like, 'Did I invite everybody I knew to hang out for a few days in their places?' No." explained the now ticked Son of God. "And like they turned it into a giant, stone church too! Didn't anybody get the whole 'simple carpenter' theme? Did everybody miss the end of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade? If I met the guys who built this, I'd be like 'You chose poorly.'"

Christ then pantomimed a man aging at a hyper-accelerated rate and turning into dust.

While HE later conceded that the situation was "totally messed up," he had yet to check out the whole town and was reserving further judgment until then.

"I'm not going to get my hopes up," admitted the living manifestation of God's Love. "I'm pretty sure that where that mortar shell just dropped was the wood where me and my friends used to play Centurions and Thief. And I just know the old deli is gone. I can feel it. God, I'd kill for a some thin-sliced pastrami."

Added Christ, "But I'll wait to pass judgment. I am supposed to be merciful and all that."

1

Do you collect velvet Elvises?

by pale recluse in

jw
friends

this product may be for you: .

official disclaimer: the preceding material is purely for humorous purposes.

these products are not really for sale.

pale recluse

This product may be for you:

Official Disclaimer: The preceding material is purely for humorous purposes. These products are not really for sale. I took them from my bathroom and scanned them in. Any resemblance to any persons living or dead is purely coincidental. No velvet Elvis collectors were harmed during the production of this post.

20

Repent NOW you sinners!

by pale recluse in

jw
friends

can't wash yourselves clean in the blood of the lamb?

here's the next best thing!

instantly wash away your sins with new repent!

pale recluse

Q: Will body parts rot off?

A: Just the ones you don't need. The sinful ones.

20

Repent NOW you sinners!

by pale recluse in

jw
friends

can't wash yourselves clean in the blood of the lamb?

here's the next best thing!

instantly wash away your sins with new repent!

pale recluse

Can't wash yourselves clean in the blood of the lamb? Here's the next best thing! Instantly wash away your sins with new Repent! Yes, Repent! has been proven effective for ALL your sins, even the major biggies! Repent! leaves behind nothing but a refreshing scent of pine. (Offer void in Canada.)